I've been thinking about this for awhile now. You know, having and not having. And I should really just go to bed. But....it's another night shift for my better half and it's hard to go to bed by myself.
So here is some incoherent ramblings.
I don't have a dishwasher.
Now, maybe that is not a big deal. But it was to me 6 mths ago when we moved here.
Gasp. no dishwasher! And 5 mouths to feed 3x a day. Plus I'm a scratch kind of girl - which inevitably means more bowls, pans, etc.
Mostly I have just been spoiled?
Living in this old Midwest house has been like living in a bad relationship. As soon as I forgive it for one thing up pops another something (and with it all past grievances) that push me closer to the edge of my sanity. I am always closer to the edge of my sanity when I am pregnant - which I was for the majority of these grievances.
So, I don't know if it's because I'm not pregnant anymore or because my efforts and prayers to fill my heart with thanksgiving and gratitude have drowned out the "have nots" in my life.
Maybe it's because the end is in sight and in 6mths we'll be living in a different house.
Whatever. The point is.
Maybe it's because the end is in sight and in 6mths we'll be living in a different house.
Whatever. The point is.
I'm grateful for no dishwasher.
I have miraculously found that it doesn't bother me at. all.
I enjoy having a moments peace to stick my hands in warm sudsy water and think.
I enjoy setting my 2yr old on the wheat bucket beside me and having him wash dishes with me.
It's hard to find me and him time. Washing dishes is me and him time and we enjoy it.
I think that not having is sometimes better than having.
Because it forces us to see with greater clarity that we actually DO have.
We do HAVE everything we need.
Feeling entitled to have "things" can creep up on us so sneakily.
One of my greatest fears is to be blinded by the "happiness" of stuff and forget where
true happiness comes from.
My sweet Zina said to me last night. "Mom, I thought about just reading my book, but it didn't feel right."
I love my life with no dishwasher.
:)
1 comment:
I couldn't agree more, Becca. It's so easy to get caught up and start griping. I've done the same and have the same fears. :) (Did you ever take that personality test that I posted on my blog? You should. I bet we are similar. :)
Anyway, thanks for the reminder. I'm going to carry this thought around with me today.
You have a beautiful life and beautiful children. You are all so blessed to have each other!
Do you know where you're going after Michigan?
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